Operation:Breakup"
by Ryoken1
Summary: "Kitty and Lance believe they got away with their date. Too bad that theX-men and Brotherhood have decided to team-up in "Operation:Breakup". (This is quite possible the craziest thing ive wrote so far , in my opinion)
1. “There`s no such thing as a perfect date...

X-men: Evolution : "Operation:Breakup (or why the x-men and brotherhood should never team-up)" By Ryoken  
  
Legal/copyright: Everything and everyone here is owned by marvel and other companies(neverwhere belongs to Neil Gaiman.)  
  
Chapter I: "There`s no such thing as a perfect date"  
  
The Brotherhood`s House , 8:00 AM , Saturday:  
  
Lance Alvers slowly leaved his room , his keys in one hand , a backpack in the other.  
  
It took him 5 minutes to get down the stairs without making a noise , and another five to lock the door quietly as she exited the place.  
  
He threw the backpack in his jeep , and slowly started to push his car as farther from the house as he could.  
  
When he was sure no one couldnt hear the engine`s starting noise , he started the car , and drove up the street , very slowly.  
  
If he had looked back , he could have seen four pair of eyes spying him from a window.  
  
The Institute , 8:00 AM , Saturday:  
  
Kitty Pryde phased to the floor below , and walked to the kitchen..  
  
She filled her backpack with some food and sandwiches she had left on the fridge the day before , and started to walk to the main hall , as quickly and noiseless as she could.  
  
She setup the security sistem to reinitiate in 10 minutes , and quickly left the institute.  
  
She got in the jeep that was waiting for her on the entrance , without noticing a lot of eyes looking at her from a window.  
  
Lance and Kitty got away , feeling hat their little trip would be safe from their friends.  
  
They both were wrong.  
  
The Institute , 8:45 AM , Saturday:  
  
  
  
Scott , Jean , Kurt ,Rogue and Evan were looking at the note that lyed on the fridge.  
  
It said:  
  
Try to botch our date now , suckers!. Love , Lance and Kitty.  
  
Ps: Eat that , Summers. Lance  
  
Ps2: And then shove it. Kitty  
  
Scott just stood there , when the door suddenly opened.  
  
Pietro , Todd , Fred and Tabitha had just entered the mansion.  
  
"Is the bug in place?"-Scott asked.  
  
"Yeah , its in Lance`s wallet."-Pietro responded.- What about yours?.  
  
"Its in Kitty`s backpack , Rogue planted it last night".-Jean responded.  
  
"Okay , lets go , to the X-van!"-Scott screamed.  
  
  
  
The Dark Woods National Park and Camping Zone , 8 miles from Bayville , 1 hour later:  
  
Kitty and Lance couldnt believe that they were having a date far away from their friends and their stupid plots to make them breakup.  
  
They got into the trail , without looking back. , as they had the whole day to expend it together.  
  
If they had looked back , rhey would have noticed a large , black van entering the park.  
  
Inside the large , black van:  
  
Scott looked at his signal detector , and couldnt help but smile.  
  
"We got you now , Alvers"- He muttered to himself.  
  
"¿Why are we doing this again?"- Rogue asked.  
  
"Because the more time those two spent together , the more closer we all get together , and im not gonna end up as an x-geek!"-Pietro responded.  
  
"Hey! Stop that , if we are going to act like a team , we have to get along ,okay?-Jean stated.  
  
"Okay...."-Everyone said.  
  
"Now , its time for Operation:Breakup!"- Evan exclaimed.  
  
"Okay , We will split in groups to be more effective" – Scott said as he layed a map of the park in the hood of the car" – ", Group 1: Me and Fred , will take route 1 and use plan 1 , Group 2 : Todd and Kurt , will take route 2 and use plan 2 , Group 3: Pietro and Evan will take route 3 and use plan 3 , Group 4: Tabitha and Jean , will take route 4 and use plan 4 , and finally , Rogue will saty here and be our radio operater , she will tell us if a plan failed and give the signal to the next group.  
  
Any Questions?."  
  
They all nodded their heads together.  
  
Okay lets go!-They all shouted as each group rushed to their destination , each with a full bacpack.  
  
They all disappeared into the woods .  
  
Rogue stood alone in front of the x-van , a radio on one hand , a gps motion tracker device in the other.  
  
She sitted on the hood , took a bottle of water from her backpack , a book (Neverwhere , by Neil Gaiman , for those who were wondering) and started reading.  
  
"This has "Long Day" written all over it"- She thought.  
  
And she was about to be right.  
  
End of chapter one.  
  
Okay , this is the fic ill be writing till i continue "Shadows and Tremors" , its a 2 or 3 part , depending on your reaction , please review.  
  
Ryoken.  
  
PS: Try and read Neverwhere , cause is one of the best books there is. 


	2. “Karma Payback”(or why reality is a bit*...

X-men: Evolution : "Operation:Breakup (or why the x-men and brotherhood should never team-up)" By Ryoken  
  
Legal/copyright: Everything and everyone here is owned by marvel and other companies  
  
Chapter II: "Karma Payback"(or why reality is a bit**)  
  
Team one was in position , waiting for Kitty and Lance to arrive.  
  
"Ya sure this will work ,Summers?"-Fred asked as he putted on the costume.  
  
"Dont worry , all you have to do is standt up fast , then I`ll play the roar we have in this tape at full volume , and Bam! , The two love birds will be running back home , blaming each other for this."-Scott explained with an evil look on his face.  
  
Fred stood up , wearing a bear costume made of some bear fur they founded in Logan`s room and a furcoat that was in Mystique`s room.(both sewn together by Pietro , who did a terrific job).  
  
"Ok , got it"-Fred replied as he started focusing in the plan.  
  
Suddenly their Radio started to get a call:  
  
"This is Rogue , the lovebirds are at an estimated 2 minutes from your position , over"-the voice stopped.  
  
"Ok Fred , ready?"-Scott asked as he crouched behind Fred , who crouched behind a small , large tree.  
  
"Ready".-Fred replied.  
  
  
  
Kitty and Lance were wlking by the forest trail , their arms together , as they walked , talking about what a great idea it was to make a picnic in this park. , when .....  
  
Fred Jumped from behind the tree , as Scott played the tape.  
  
ROOOOOAAAAARRRRR! – the sound echoed throught the valley.  
  
Kitty screamed and jumped into Lance`s arms , who was ready to attack the beast with a mild quake when.....  
  
THRUPHT!  
  
A dart hitted one of the "Bear`s" arms , and the beast fell on its back , as the tranquilizer took effect instantly .  
  
Scott looked at the huge , furry form that was about to fall on him , and instantly he thought two things:  
  
Shit , this is really gonna hurt.  
  
Why me?  
  
BOOOOMMM.  
  
The sound of the "bear" hitting the ground , echoed throught the valley.  
  
The little squeak sound that was heard from below the bear was heard by no one.  
  
"Sorry kids"- A gruff looking US Park Ranger carrying a rifle said to Lance and Kitty as he appeared from the woods behind them ,- "I`ve been been searching for old "Bub" all morning. Now keep moving , the area is safe now."  
  
Lance and Kitty looked at the Ranger , then at the "bear" , and decided to continue walking down the trail.  
  
"Team one is down and Im screwed" ,- Scott said into his radio.  
  
"Strike one!"- The voice of Rogue was heard throught the intercom.  
  
Team 2 Area , 25 minutes later:  
  
Todd and Kurt were standing on a tree branch , at an estimated 7 meters height.  
  
Kurt had a large , brown , circular object in his hands , an object that was constantly emmiting a buzzing sound.  
  
It was a beehive.  
  
"Tell me how iz this supposed tho vork again , Todd?-Kurt asked.  
  
"Simple Wagner"-Todd responded- " Lance is scared from bees since he was a little rockhead , when this swarm of bees appear in front of him , he`ll run away like hell , leaving Kitty-Kat alone , who will kick his butt for abandoning her later.".  
  
"Vow , thats so evil , it could actually vork!- Kurt responded in a surprised tone of voice.  
  
Suddenly their radio started two sound:  
  
"Team one is toasted , and the targets are moving into your position , their estimated arrival time is in 5 minutes."-Rogue`s voice announced.  
  
In that precise moment , a burst of wind moved the branch they were on , and the beehive slipped from Kurt`s hands.  
  
It crashed in the ground , and a swarm of seriously pissed off bees came out from it.  
  
In that instant , the branch broke , and Toad and Kurt felled right into the yellow cloud beneath them.  
  
The bees had a sting feast , and Todd and Kurt were the main course , untill Kurt was able to teleport.  
  
BAMPFF!  
  
"Strike two!"-Rogue screamed in delight as the bloated faces of Kurt and Todd appeared in the windshield in front of her.  
  
  
  
Lance and Kitty looked at the former beehive by their feets.  
  
"Wow , the bees must been pretty pissed when they camed out from there"- Lance said- "Im happy we werent here at the time".  
  
"Well maybe today`s our lucky day"- Kitty said as they leaved the place , clinging to Lance`s arm.  
  
  
  
Team 3 Area , 20 minutes later:  
  
Pietro and Evan were hiding behind a fallen tree , waiting for the couple to arrive.  
  
"Ya sure this idiotic idea will work , Maximoff?-Evan hissed at him.  
  
Its so simple , even you , my slow witted friend , could understant it"- Pietro said in his usual , superiority complex voice.-"Kitty hates guys who are disgusting , rude and smelly . as her behaviour when Todd`s around denotes , so I put this little stink bomb we made at the lab in Lance`s back pocket , and when they are here , i slap him in the back , and bang!. Kitty slaps him as she calls him a pig , and presto! No more love feud between our "families""- Pietro explained.  
  
This gonna be so cool!-Evan said in a excited voice , as they waited for the signal , which came in that very moment.  
  
"Team two is down , now is your turn ,they will be there in 8 minutes , so dont blew this up , you idiots"-The voice of an obviously more pissed off that usual Rogue was heard from the radio.  
  
At that moment , both of them noticed a very awfull smell next to them.  
  
Pietro , did you drop the stink bomb?-Evan said slowly.  
  
"No ,ive got it right here"- Pietro responded as he showed Evan the small vial in his hand.  
  
Both of them looked back.  
  
The best way to describe what happened as they turned around is with a simple question and its answer.  
  
The question is: ¿ Which one is faster , a skunk ready to spray , or a surprised Quicksilver and Spyke?  
  
The answer: The skunk.  
  
  
  
Kitty and Lance were walking peacefully thought the forest , when a loud scream was heared in the distance , as a blured gush of wind passed by their side , leaving an awfull smell in the air.  
  
"What the hell is that smell!"-Kitty screamed as she and Lance runned away from the smell.  
  
"I think there`s a mine near here , so i guess a gas fume or they are burning garbage".-Lance responded as he ran , without letting go of Kitty`s hand.  
  
  
  
Meanwile at the X van:  
  
Rogue was laughing inside the locked van , with Scott , Fred , Kurt and Todd , who were sleeping in the back. of the car , as Pietro and Evan were taken by a couple of Rangers to the back of their Cabin , were a Tomatoe juice shower was waiting for them.  
  
"Strike Three!"- she thought as she tried to return to her book.  
  
  
  
Team 4 area , 15 minutes later:  
  
Tabitha and Jean were standing in front of a picnic wooden table , waiting for theis call.  
  
It arrived more soon than they expected.  
  
"Team three`s performance stunk , so now its all up to you two , god help us."-Rogue`s voice sounded throught the radio speaker.-They will be there in ten minutes.  
  
"Okay Jean , what do we have to do now?-Tabitha asked.  
  
"You airheaded bimbo!"- Jean screamed- "All you have to do is make the most powerfull timebomb you can , then ill use my telekinesis to put it right below this table , then , we hide beneath these trees , and when they are ready to eat , i`ll let it drop , and bang , their picnic is ruined , and Kitty will go on full bitch mode , and never speak to him again".  
  
"This is gonna be so fun!" – Tabitha screamed as she started to make a REALLY Big timebomb .  
  
"I think its ready"- Tabitha said as Jean`s telekinesis took the timebomb from her hands , and it started to float in the air between them.  
  
Suddenly Tabitha went pale.  
  
"Jee ..Jean..."- she said slowly , as she pointed at Jean`s feet.  
  
"What?- Jean screamed as she looked at the direction Tabitha`s finger was pointing.  
  
And her eyeballs froze in her sockets.  
  
A long , silver skined snake was an inch away from Jean`s left feet.  
  
AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!- Jean`s scream could be heard throught the whole place.  
  
The rest of it was a blur.  
  
Jean`s telekinesis was cut short by her reaction , and the timebomb fell to the floor , all while Tabitha was getting more white by the nanosecond.  
  
The timebomb touched the ground and....  
  
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!.  
  
It exploded , filling every place in a three miles radio with the noise equivalent of a volcanic eruption.  
  
Twelve minutes later , Kitty and Lance were having the greates lunch of their lives in a wooden table that rested under the shadow of a really big tree.  
  
"Do you think that explosion came from the mine?"-Kitty asked Lance as they leaved the place.  
  
"Im pretty sure it did"-Lance said , turnin his face to see Kitty , who was riding on his back.  
  
  
  
If they had stayed 6 more minutes there , they would have seen how two dark , ash and dirt covered figures , falling from the tree , hitting the ground , right in front of the feet of a gruff looking Park Ranger.  
  
"And you are out!"- Rogue screamed in the van.  
  
20 minutes later at the X-van:  
  
Kitty and Lance walked together to the van , were Rogue , Logan (dressed in a Park Ranger uniform) and Ororo were waiting for them.  
  
"Okay , we did our part , now weres our payment , Half Pint."-Logan said in his usual voice.  
  
"Okay , heres yours"- Kitty said as she took a Bottle of Scotch from her back pack.- "Straight out od the Proffesor`s secret stash?- she said softly.  
  
"Ohh yess , youre mine now , my preciousss..!-Logan said , and his eyes glowed with delight as he took the bottle from her hand.  
  
"Ororo , heres the tape of Evan crashing into your roses"- Kitty said as she handed Ororo a tape.  
  
"I have you now , Evan Daniels"-She said , a wicked smile of joy in her face.  
  
"Here is all your stuff from our house , Rogue"- Lance said as he handed her a duffel bag full of stuff.  
  
"And here`s the copy of Scott`s schedule for the whole next full four months"- kitty said as she handed her a 50 page text.- "if i were you , ill meet him up at the Laundrymat".  
  
"Thanks to all of you"- Lance said as he and Kitty got into his jeep , and drove away as they waved at the three figures that were going into the van. , which was full of beated up , smelly and sleeping teenagers.  
  
"So ready for our real date?"- Lance said to Kitty as he drove throught the open road.  
  
"Oh yeah"-She replied.  
  
The jeep got lost in the horizon , as did the laughs of Kitty and Lance , who were now free to enjoy themselfs.  
  
The end.  
  
  
  
So , liked it , please review , and threw all the bricks ya want at me.  
  
Ryoken. 


End file.
